This Time Around

Traditionally, October has not been the best month. Both my grandmother and grandfather died in October, along with my son five years ago. Some days it seems like an eternity since his passing, and other times it seems like it was last week.

I told myself I’d never work on his birthday. I don’t work on Elise’s birthday, so why would I work on his? This year is different. I’m working.

One, I need the distraction. Two, my co-workers are supportive. Three, I need normalcy this year. Four, last year I witnessed a horrible car accident on October 16th that crosses my mind every time I travel through that intersection (almost daily).

Another reason, and probably the biggest- I need to watch the time I’m taking off work before our new baby arrives. I need to use my precious vacation time for maternity leave, and then I need to come back to work knowing those days I’ll be home with sick kids are inevitable. With an 8 week leave, I will feel it in my pocketbook and my PTO bank, sadly.

Hoping Hank will realize all of it this time around. Hope he knows we still will have cupcakes and sing, and still light a candle. Hope he is ok with me taking 8 hours and paying it forward to his soon to be born sibling. I hope he gets the hope.

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