“For we have met the enemy -and he is us
And now the day is come
Soon he will be released
Glory hallelujah!
We’re building the Perfect Beast”
-Don Henley
In a few hours, 2024 will be in the books. We’ll put this year’s edition on the shelf, maybe to collect dust with other volumes we’ve shoved away, or maybe we’ll leave it out to artfully and proudly display like photographic art. Some people may even go to the extreme, building a roaring fire to toss in their 2024 all at once, watching the flames greedily eat it up, probably not fast enough.
When reflecting on the year, my mind thinks of the last few months to make an overall assessment of the year. I forget the daily struggles and victories in February, the jokes that made me laugh until I cried in March, or that spontaneous dinner one evening in August that was supposed to be quick and ended up being hours. I forget what made me smile and cry, weekends that celebrated people, and the feelings of joy, hopelessness, determination, and love.
If I made December a representation of the year, you’d agree that mine is a volume for the fireplace. I’ve felt disassociated, not good enough, let down. I’ve struggled with my physical and mental health. However, there is more to this year than just December. I’ve traveled, fostered dogs, accepted the fact that I just don’t like chicken breasts, and I really don’t enjoy cooking anymore. I’ve seen some great sporting events live, received and gave some heartfelt and meaningful gifts from and to those I love, and watched my children flourish.
Although I can’t cross multiply fractions anymore (I am of no assistance for 5th grade homework), I can tell you that 1/12th of a year is insignificant if the other 11/12ths are ok. Adding fractions with common denominators, still got it after all these years.
We make commitments to ourselves every new year. We’re going to communicate better with our partner, we’re going to fight to be paid what we’re worth at work, we’ll attend more soccer practices and baseball tournaments, we’ll throw out nonstick pans and start using glass instead of plastic.
What if we paused on that idea, and give some thought to generally accepting ourselves as who we are instead of trying to do a complete overhaul? There is a difference in making some improvements versus recreating yourself.
Who knows what could emerge – we could end up building the perfect beast, suddenly desperate to return to how things were before we threw everything away for a fresh start. Working on parts of yourself is admirable, but no man has ever told the sherpa at the base of Mt. Everest to bug off.
There is no shame in asking for help, receiving support, or demanding a friend to tell you the most asinine thing to get your mind off something. It’s ok to have a day (or a few) where you do nothing productive without guilt. It’s ok to have a setback, even many.
It’s even ok to accept a dislike of chicken breasts.
Happy 2025.