I’m a mom!
Well, I considered myself a mom before I got pregnant again- I’m a firm believer that even though Hank never took a breath, he still made me a mother. Now that there is a physical being around, it’s very real to me that I’m someone’s parent (case in point- at the pediatrician’s office they kept calling me “Mom” and I had no idea who they were talking to). This idea of tangible parenthood is new- and amazing.
So, four days later, and we have been home for two of them. We’ve done laundry. We’ve been pooped on. We’ve had to change the sheets on our bed because those got pooped on, too (advice- baby needs a diaper on at all times). Still trying to figure out the nursing thing. Still trying to figure out the “sleep when the baby sleeps” thing. Still trying to figure out the mystery of why it took us an hour to get out of the house and get to the pediatrician (a mere ten minutes away).
Some things I HAVE already figured out- I love my baby. I love staring at her tiny perfection. Fingers, toes, wild red hair, gorgeous blue eyes. I love that she is a culmination of five years of heartbreak-turned-realization that sometimes life gives you what your heart needed for so long. I love that I’m four days into this journey of tangible parenthood and between the whirlwind of the bouncy seat and breastfeeding and changing a diaper after you’ve just changed it ten minutes ago and four clothing changes a day and hovering around the thermostat to make sure the house stays comfortable to making sure I take some time to eat and shower and have an hour in the day to do what I want to do and finally trying to sleep, that I’m still smiling and in utter amazement every moment at what my body created from love and hope.
Copyright 2014 Anne Mathay