I carried you for 269 days (because I counted), and every day I wanted you, wondered about you, and waited for you. I was fearful and anxious and full of cautious hope on every one of those days. Every time I’d have an exam, I’d pray harder than I ever had before that everything was still ok. I needed you to be ok. And when I first heard you cry, and when I first saw you, my heart sighed with relief and happiness.
You are 365 days old now. They have all somehow gone so fast, yet I can’t remember a time without you. You are part of my every moment. I look at you and realize you are a part of me. You are a part of both of us. You didn’t know it, but you were so needed by all of us. We needed happiness and love and rebirth.
As you can imagine, I thought often about your big brother and what he’d think of you. Dad and I both know that he’d love you just as much as we do. Maybe you already know that, though.
We have had great fun this year getting to know you. I love your many faces and silly expressions. You’re sweet, loving, and gentle. You’re laid back, content to watch and observe before getting involved. You love making people smile and laugh. You are not a fan of sleeping! You love animals, books, and music. We are slowly trying to make you like avocadoes, and failing. Your energy and heart and curiosity for life and how things work are inspiring. Looking at the world through your eyes reminds me to slow down.
You remind me every day to be present, to be kind, and to do for others.
Happy first birthday, sweet girl. It’s an honor to be your mama.
Love always,
Mom
What a sweet letter. I can’t wait until Elise is old enough to read this.